Lately I have felt like a limping gazelle. We are still paying off debt... just not as quickly as we were. I feel guilty about that, but at the same time I feel guilty that my kids haven't gone on a real vacation in years. (Going to Ohio to visit family is great, but...) I feel guilty that we don't have as much crap as some of their friends. I feel guilty that I contemplated not going back to Ohio for my grandpas funeral because being there with him while he was dying cost us a lot of money and the thought of spending more scared me. I feel guilty about it all.
In totally embarrassing news: We bought a bed the other day. No, that's not the embarrassing part. I got a top of the line, $2000+ mattress at the scratch & dent section for $450 ($650 including frame and delivery.) I wrote a check. That felt good. When they came to deliver the bed and take my old one away, the guy said "I have been in the mattress business for 20 years and have never seen a mattress this bad! I am saving this and putting it in an ad!" They then proceeded to talk about the commercial, and even asked me if I would be in it. (I declined.) We all had a good laugh when I showed them where I had tried to fix the metal bar thing that runs around the outside and had poked through the material with zip ties. We all felt a little bad when I told them that my 2 year old niece cut her leg on a spring that was poking through the side. I laughed at them when they took pictures of my old mattress in the back of their truck with their cell phones, so that they could send the pictures to people who didn't believe them. (Still not the embarrassing part.) The embarrassing news is that the mattress has been like that for 3 years, easily. We didn't replace it because we wanted to put that huge amount of money towards debt. We could not bring ourselves to spend that much money on ourselves when we owed so much money. I only bought a new set once it got to the point that it hurt me to get out of bed inn the morning and Marty couldn't sleep.
So. I have been thinking a lot lately about this debt repayment thing. We owe less money total than a lot of people owe just on credit cards. We are not going to starve, we are not in danger of being homeless, we are not going to have utilities shut off. Paying just the minimum payments, our debt would be paid off in two years, anyway. Once we move, I am planning to get a job (We will be within walking/biking distance of the busiest street in town. dozens and dozens of places to apply). Marty is getting a descent raise, we are moving to a less expensive house. We will be ok.
I am just not so worried about it any more. We are not incurring new debt, and our debt should be paid by the beginning of next summer.
I am also thinking about buying new lawn furniture and one of those matching gazebo things. All told, it will cost about $450. Ours is old, but I could probab;y still sell it for $50 at a yard sale. (Not bad considering that we paid $200 for it 12 years ago! Gotta love wrought iron.) We need a new gas grill. (I know... define need, right?) I am taking my kids to Germany next summer. Heck... we might even take a vacation this summer.
I am thinking of bumping our emergency fund up a bit (maybe to $2500?) and then paying regular payments towards debt. Once I am working, half of my paycheck will go to debt, the other half to our trip.
Christian is 16 (17 in December.) We only have two years before he can move out, and I don't want what could be our last two years with him living here to be nothing but mom and dad working their butts off and worrying about paying off debt.
Maybe part of this comes from the fact that Christian is 16, and I was 16 when my dad died. Having a parent that died when I was so young always instilled in me the fear of working my butt off my whole life and then being too sick to enjoy it... or worse, dying before I can enjoy it. Maybe with Christian being older and "that age", it really hit home that life is short. Life is just too damn short.
So now I am a limping gazelle. And I am ok with that.
2 comments:
Krista,
We've been talking about the same kind of stuff! Don't feel bad, you have to live too!
Sometimes you just need to spend some money to make life more comfortable. That was a great deal on the mattress and I wouldn't suggest sleeping on one like you described for 3 years unless you are about to starve!!! :-)
It's so easy to focus on debt reduction as the only thing as it's something you want really badly! But there can be a middle ground where you sometimes enjoy life with a trip (or a new mattress) and keep steadily paying that debt too. The important thing when in a hole is to stop digging-You've done that. You'll get the rest done too!
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